I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize