I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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