you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
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