i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
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Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
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I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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