Midget sex pt 2 tonight
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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