Cold hands, warm shart.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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