His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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