disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize