so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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