I wish I could punch you in the face.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
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