Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
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