Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
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