I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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