So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
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