Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Randomize