I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
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