had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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