Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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