Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
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