you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
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He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
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classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
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