Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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