"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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