Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
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