I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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