the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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