Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I am in a vortex of obligation.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize