You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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