Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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