I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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