nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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