Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
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