i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Randomize