I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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