She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
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I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
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She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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