Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
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I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
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