I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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