Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
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And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
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JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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