about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize