jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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