Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
The ass gains better be worth it
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