I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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