I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
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When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
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How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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