what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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