I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
love makes seman taste better
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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