I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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