I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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