So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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