I'm eating all of the evidence.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize