y did u give ur computer a hand job?
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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