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Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I looked at my own cervix.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
foreskin is a definite game changer
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Randomize
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